I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
