The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
