no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
