I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
