did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
