I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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