There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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