i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I can text with my tongue
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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