Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
