just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
