So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
