We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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