I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
