The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
