He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize