Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
