is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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