I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
