I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
