just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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