My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
