she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
