we have officially mastered the walk of shame
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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