someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
