I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
