This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
