U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
