Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Randomize
