I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize