the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just cropdusted the office
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
