I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
