You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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