We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
