My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My underwear smells like fireworks.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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