Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize