I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
