i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
