Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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