the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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