got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
