can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
