Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Green mimosas i think yes
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
