Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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