i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Semen is not good for contacts.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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