Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize