At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
