I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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