How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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