you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
