No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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