i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
