Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
