She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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