I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
