dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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