I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
