i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
