I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
