Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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