Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

we need to drink 2009 down the drain

Fav 16 5247 869
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(254): View more from Texas

his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker

Fav 19 1183 9363
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(678): View more from Georgia

Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.

Fav 6 2781 1251
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(614): View more from Ohio

THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK

Fav 6 3254 1397
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(512): View more from Texas

She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.

Fav 2 2383 1145
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(301): View more from Maryland

thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.

Fav 2 1438 840
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(509): View more from Washington

I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.

Fav 4 1792 749
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(919): View more from North Carolina

No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge

Fav 0 22 14
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(270): View more from Kentucky

U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk

Fav 0 27 8
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