U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
