Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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