it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
