im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
operation have a gay friend backfired
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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