He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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