Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
