we were pretty classy up until the second keg
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
