God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
