Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
