It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
