I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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