Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
